Five Reasons I am Smiling in this Picture

I posted this picture on Facebook this morning of the kids and I celebrating the New Year. A friend asked how I could be so happy when my husband is currently deployed. The most obvious reason would be, "Hey, it's 2013. My man is coming HOME this year" but it really did get me thinking how Team Mayers has done this deployment joyfully (so far).

First of all, not every second is happy. I simply am not in the habit of posting pictures of myself covered in snot and tears on the Facebook. I have yet let anyone video my Stanley Kowalski moments where I am screaming for Chris to help me unclog the toilet. I have a friend or two who could tell you (but won't) that some moments are just downright awful. I allow these moments, but don't let them consume me. I have trusted people who work through the uglies, squeeze me tight, and help me hop back onto the happy train.

Second, my husband has asked me to continue moving our family forward while he is gone. He's asked that I continue my graduate work, that I maintain our family friendships, and that I use this experience to glorify God. He's promised to do the same while deployed. He's held up his end of the bargain, I intend to hold up mine. The thing is though, these things (school, cultivating relationships, church) all provide joyful moments. They provide engagement with others. They provide a satisfaction and fulfillment that I could not possibly deny. Those smiles and content looks in the photo above are not simply Team Mayers--they are the culmination of Christ, the love of friends and family, and good old fashioned strength. My husband trusts me to welcome him home to the functioning, vibrant family he left. I intend to honor his request completely.

Third, I worry very little. This is where our faith comes in. Our family verse is Joshua 1:9.

 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV

It's hard to be fearful with that kind of command and promise. Chris and I firmly believe our time apart is purposeful and part of God's plan. Just this morning we were talking about the people we have each become friends with since the deployment started. These are individuals with whom we would not have had an opportunity to meet or socialize with if this deployment had not happened. I also learned how to work my IPod and Luke's Leap Pad...come on...that is growth people ;). Seriously though, we work hard to see the gifts and opportunities in Chris's Afghanistan journey--the negatives are so blatant they try to shadow the joy, but it really is possible to find it.

The fourth reason I am smiling are those kids standing next to me. My job is to model positive, Christlike, behavior for them. I can't do that when shadowed by fear or woeful thoughts. If I am worried and doubtful, I tell them our God is not good enough. If I refuse to leave the house I rob them of swimming and skating, basketball and Scouts, friendships and support I might not be able to offer. My kiddos miss their daddy something awful, but like me, they never doubt his love and commitment to them. While they miss daddy hugs and his booming cheers at sporting events, they are firm in their understanding that he is with them in the things that truly matter.

And finally, the fifth reason I am smiling. As much as I am a starter on Team Mayers, I am Betty too. I am a truly happy individual. I have beat cancer and live daily with an above knee amputation (this is no small feat in North Country snow). I have been forgiven and forgive. I am very much loved by my God, my family, and my friends. I have been blessed by the love of hundreds of children as a second grade teacher and volunteer. The not so subtle curves in my hips are a result of beautiful babies and bountiful nourishment which my husband provides even from afar. My limp is evidence of doctors being able to save my life.

So, how can I be smiling in this picture when my husband is deployed? I have much too much to smile about not to. Chris is still the head of our household, the love of my life, and my biggest cheerleader. "Someone" once said that a great leader is someone who takes a week off of work and nobody realizes s/he's gone. That leader has built such a strong team, they function perfectly when leadership is temporarily gone. While we very much realize Chris is gone, he's built a team that functions beautifully, even when one of us is missing for a little bit.

That's why I am smiling in this picture.